Abundant Harvest Christian Center: Handling Conflict

People face various types of conflict everyday. Conflict can arise at any time and anywhere. Oftentimes, conflict occurs in church, personality, and marital, financial, workplace and vision issues. You can also be a conflict for someone else. Let us define what conflict is so a proper understanding on this subject is established.

Conflict is identified as to clash; to be contrary. This is a situation in which the demands of one job adversely affect the demands of another. Many times, conflict produces combat, discord, or antagonism. The purpose of conflict is to get you or someone out of the will, order and purpose of God. Conflict can also cause you to reassess your position by looking at yourself.

Where then does conflict originate? Conflict stems from conduct that contains mixed feelings and thoughts. Conflict can be detrimental to he or she if not handled correctly. Sometimes comments or gestures displayed by one person may not carry any validity to a situation. However, due to miscommunication and/or misunderstanding, a person can feel highly offended. Suddenly, without warning, an avalanche of harsh words and ill feelings can overtake a person’s mindset. Consequently, emotions of anger, hatred, hurt, strife, and disrespect for others can produce conflict.

So, the believer must understand the power of compromise. Ephesians 4:1-4 reads, “I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness, and meekness, with longsuffering, for bearing one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling.”

The word worthy means equal weight. One’s calling and conduct should be in balance. “The Calling” refers not only to the believer’s salvation found in 1 Corinthians 1:9 “but, also, to their union in one body. Therefore, the Christian’s conduct, or behavior, must be in alignment with his personal walk with Christ, and also, in his responsibility to the rest of the body of Christ.”

Christians are God’s special people. Christians are people who have accepted Jesus Christ, the Son of God, as their Lord and Savior. They have confessed with their mouth and have believed in their heart that Jesus died for their sins. In God’s new covenant found in Hebrews 10:12, He states, “ I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts; and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people. For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.” Conflict may be difficult to resolve at church, home, school and work. Nonetheless, the believer must apply love, prayer and Godly effort in order to achieve a peaceful result to conflict.

Conflict is designed to do four things. First, Satan uses conflict to frutrate the believer’s assignment and purpose of serving the Lord. Second, this direct attack from Satan challenges the belief system of every Christian. No matter what the issue may be at hand, all believers must realize that no one likes to be wrong. Everyone believes wholeheartedly that their perspective is correct. Proverbs 3:6 reads, “In all of thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

Third, conflict endangers what you love. Careers, family, life and money are things that a person holds closest to their heart and loves as possessions. Each of these items can be quickly and permanently lost.

Fourth, conflict places a person on defense. This is due to one’s inability to evaluate or discern what another person is faced with. Conflict erupts numerous problems to a person’s health. Conflict causes emotional and internal turmoil. Conflict inflicts insecurity due to another person’s dysfunctional behavior. Also, conflict produces physical and/or verbal responses. Such reactions can lead to physical harm, or worse yet, death.

Conflict is designed to heighten Satan’s warfare against the believer’s walk with Christ. Satan’s primary objective is to annihilate every child of God. If Satan can make the believer use profanity, or resort to violence when dealing with conflict, he has hit his target with a bulls-eye. Satan wants followers of Christ to disobey and negate God’s word. Satan despises all people who serve the Lord with gladness.

The only way to win the battle of conflict against Satan is through the Spirit realm, not in the flesh realm. How can this be certain? The believer must comprehend that anytime he has to combat a conflict and bring a unified solution to a problem; he has to deal with a person. What is a person? A person, or human being, is merely a spirit clothed in flesh in order to live on earth. Genesis 2:7 reads, “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”

When a person asks God to forgive them of their sins and accepts Jesus Christ into their heart, the spirit of that individual awakens to a new life. All of the sins that the unbeliever used to do, he no longer commits. Now, as a believer, he acknowledges God in all that he does. He is ever watchful and prayerful of his conduct.

What does discernment mean? The root word of discern is defined as: to distinguish by the eye or the intellect; perceive; or discriminate. Discernment is a must-have, powerful, secretive tool the believer can use for all conflicts. The Holy Spirit, also known as the comforter, knows all things. The believer can rely on the Holy Spirit to lead them in their daily lifestyle.

I John 4:1 reads, “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits. Whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” This scripture specifically directs the believer to test the spirit. Through discernment, ask the Holy Spirit to show you exactly what is going on in both the spiritual and natural realms. The Holy Spirit will unction your spirit of what to do and the spirit will bear witness in the truth.

When a conflict unfolds, the believer should examine the situation. A person should consider these questions. How upset is the other party? What is the conflict about? What is the personality of the other party? Do they tend to be rational or irrational when faced with major decisions. Does this person appear to have any character flaws? Such traits consist of a person being: offensive, physically or verbally abusive, rude, or touch?
Someone who possesses the above mentioned character flaws is a person who will display his tendencies regularly. More times than not, the believer will readily recognize these flaws in the spirit realm.

A person who is offended will create resentment, anger, or displeasure; in order to hurt the feelings of another person. Physical, verbal, and emotional abuse stems from a hurt person trying to hurt by treating badly another person. This person will use insults, coarse, or foul language about or to a person in a harsh manner.

A person who is rude will be crude or rough in workmanship. They will lack in refinement, culture or elegance, Also, this person will display a course, vulgar, repulsive and discourteous mannerism.

A person who is touchy will be easily offended. This person is overly-sensitive; irritable. He is readily ignited.

Here are some simple tips to follow in order to properly communicate with someone who has any form of character blemishes. As the believer depends on the Holy Spirit to lead the, handling conflicts will become more progressive and unified.

Both parties should listen carefully to what is being stated.
All of the facts must be represented equally by both sides.
Respect for the other party must be given. Both sides must give their undivided attention.
Each party should smile. Smiling will make the atmosphere pleasant and comfortable. Laugh at the devil because the believer has victory through Jesus.
When the believer faces conflict and does not lean on the Spirit for direction, he will have a fleshly result. With this mistake made, the believer will look at the other party as an enemy coming against them. The natural tendency for anyone who is attached abusively, is to reply defensively. This is called protection. Should the believer feel threatened or offended due to a jester, statement, whisper or position of belief or truth someone else operates out of, chaos and confusion will remain. Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together, except they be in agreement?”

In order to effectively dissolve conflict, the believer must engage in the four C’s of behavior. The four C’s include: courtesy, compassion, compromise, and Christ-likeness. The four C’s are embedded in the standard model Jesus Christ. As Jesus lived on the earth, He illustrated these character traits.

Jesus’ primary responsibility of the four C’s was to save mankind by giving his life for their sins. John 12:47 reads, “And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.”

Courtesy is an act of considerate behavior favoring someone else. A person who is courteous will recognize, be kind and polite to others. Ill feelings, rudeness, disgust, and strife toward others do not compliment Godly character. James 1:20 reads, “the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”

Compassion means having sorrow for the sufferings or trouble for others. Such feelings are accompanied by the urge to help; or to show deep sympathy. Sharing compassion toward someone who has caused you embarrassment, pain, or even resentment is the ultimate act of sacrifice.

Knowing that a close friend or relative has lied on you and discredited your name and reputation can be shameful and hurtful.

Within a marriage, when conflict arises, both partners may not take into consideration their partners feelings. In a disagreement between husband and a wife, bitter, savage words; even profanity can be shouted at one another in the heat-of-the-moment.

James 3:8-10 reads, “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil full of poison. Therewith we bless God even the father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My bretheren, these things ought not to be.”

Couples who are doers of God’s word and not hearers only must recognize that within their marriage, conflict
promotes displeasure, disbelief and distrust of one another. These emotions create an uncomfortable environment for both mates.

Due to the intensity of a conflict amongst husband and wife, physical harm can take place. Here is a keypoint to forever retain: anytime violence is utilized to resolve conflict, know that your flesh is completely out of control. This situation can turn deadly instantly!

One of both partners may have overstepped their boundaries. Therefore, Christians must take notice of I Corinthians 14:33, which states, “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace as in all churches of the saints.”

Compromise is an adjustment of opposing principles, systems, etc; by modifying some aspects of each. Where there is no tolerance for compromise, there is no place for righteousness. Peace must precede evil actions and thoughts.

Romans 12:17,18 reads, Repay no man evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Christians are to do what is pleasing in the sight of the Lord. Christians must interact with people in harmony. Matthew 5:9 reads, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” Displaying peace is an action that can be observed through Christian s who walk in Christ-likeness. Ephesians 5:2 reads, “and walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savior.”

Avoiding offense or problems is inevitable. Nonetheless, the Bible strongly teaches principles of forgiveness when the believer feels that they have been wronged by another person.
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
Understand that as a believer, you are required to obey all of God’s commandments. God’s greatest commandment is to show compassion for one another. Compassion is love; and God is love. God’s grace and mercy endureth forever. In addition, Christ has compassion for everyone.

Those who are believers of God’s Word should be hard-pressed to love one another at all costs. I Peter 3:8-9 reads, “Finally be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as bretheren, be pitiful, be courteous: not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are there unto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.”

Abundant Harvest Christian Center, 2387 N. Lake Avenue, Altadena, (626) 797-6056 or visit www.abundantharvest.info.