Lake Avenue Church: The Spark

This summer I have found myself interested in survival shows. The ones where folks are dropped off in the middle of nowhere and are forced to figure out how to make it out alive. People who do what I could never do fascinate me! In one episode, a gentleman was attempting to start a fire with nothing more than rocks and sticks. He was in the rain forest and the environment was humid and damp. This made making a fire a challenge. It was exciting when he finally got a spark of fame. He then frantically began to add kindling to the fire to ignite the flame. It was awesome!

I was reminded of this episode this week when I was reading literature on adolescence and thriving. I am researcher in the Thrive Center for Youth Development at Fuller and I am often immersed in the grand ideas of thriving. We ask questions like, what does it mean to thrive and what does it take to lead a person to optimal development? These are intriguing questions.

I have been pondering the theory that we, adults and leaders, must ignite and fan the “spark” in the teens in our lives. A spark is defined as a self identified interest, skill, or capacity. The motivation for the pursuit of this spark is intrinsic; it comes from a desire within.

Some teens have a clear spark. They have always been passionate about dance or sports. Other teens aren’t sure what their spark is. We adults can help facilitate this discovery process. By paying attention to often hard to notice aspects of the teens in our lives, we may help them to discover that spark or fan the flames of an existing spark. Here are some things to consider as you support your teen.

1. What gets your teen excited? Maybe they get amped by paying attention to the latest technology news. Or they love animals. What gets them excited may be an essential aspect of an undiscovered spark. Try to lead them to new experiences in this area. Perhaps greater exposure to a particular field might excite them towards a potential future in that field.

2. Be positive. Some teens consider all the limitations before the endless possibilities. Sure there may be some serious limitations to the future they may want to pursue. Then again, maybe this limited future is the path that God may intend for him or her to embark on. If your teen is passionate and feels called by God to pursue a particular interest, maybe all he or she needs from us is encouragement.

3. Listen. Of course you already listen to your kids! However try listening for the truth in what they are saying in the words they are saying or not saying. Listening at this level may open our ears to a hidden spark or the fear that may be extinguishing the spark.

4. Partner with other adults. Talk to the other adults in your teen’s life. Work together to identify and fan the flames of the spark in your teen. You all have the same goal and perhaps some great revelation can occur as a result. Perhaps it would be best for you to partner with other parents to learn what has worked and not worked for them. Let’s learn from each other!

Ultimately the goal is to lead our teens to do more than just make it through adolescence. We want them to THRIVE! We are here to ignite the spark and fan the flames of their passions, as God would intend for us to do. As always, blessing to you and your family!

Nanyamka

First United Methodist Church of Pasadena, 500 East Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, (626) 796-0157 or visit fumcpasadena.org.