Political Gumbo: Fire Chief O’Hara

People and their wild eyed theories and ideas always amaze me. Even more so obviously when it concerns the reporters at Pasadena Now.

My favorite remains the claim that we secretly work for the city and somehow we are in the pocket of every politician running for office.

As far as the former, that would make me the most underpaid employee under the dome at City Hall.

My pay is apparently so small, they lose money when they cut my check under the dome.

Got to have a talk with City Manager Cynthia Kurtz about my 3,000 percent raise.

Hmmm increase zero by 3,000 percent, carry the zero. Wait … that’s another zero, dammit another zero. Now, solve for D R and E.

Wow, zero gazillion dollars.

But then again, the money isn’t why I secretly work under the dome.

It’s that cool 1973 Gremlin the city provides for me to drive around complete with a “Keep on Truckin” bumper sticker on the back and a pair of fuzzy dice on the mirror. Well when the mirror doesn’t fall off, or the passenger door for that matter.

Top of the world, Ma.

All things considered, that salary and the car top anything I got at the PW.

A new crazy theory was directed at me after the Monday Morning Bullpen hit the streets.

Here’s the skinny.

According to Mr. Housing Guy, I reviewed the council agenda on Thursday and saw the church property item and held back on writing my article on opposing it until Monday so the public would not have a chance to respond to Bullpen.

How do you make that Scooby Doo sound, “Ruh?”

Ya got me, I got nothing else to worry about except housing projects on church property and somehow sandbagging the public.

The funny part is after he accused me of this heinous crime, he went on about the importance of “accuracy.”

About that accuracy.

My shift is over on Thursday by the time the agenda drops and I don’t work Friday and Saturday.

The first time I look at the staff reports is Sunday morning when I get to work at 8 a.m.

As for the rest, I don’t care if the public agrees or disagrees with anything in the Bullpen.

The point of Bullpen is to get people engaged in important items at City Council meetings, subcommittees and commissions.

Of course it would be published on Monday, because, oh I don’t know, that’s when the most important city government meeting is held.

That and the fact it’s called MONDAY Morning Bullpen.

Leave the crazy ass conspiracy theories in the back of your mind or wherever you pull them out of. They remind me of Rob Bonta’s letter and that is some scary stuff.

The idea of Gumbo is to use sarcasm, humor and yes a couple of barbs to promote dialogue and get people to think.

Of course, I also want to inspire you to check out some old detective shows, some Motown music and read some Neil Adams Batman comics.

He’s the guy that took the camp out of the Dark Knight, and got it back to dark and brooding.

Talk about a great American.

That said, on the old campy Batman TV show, how did they change into their costumes when they were sliding down the batpoles?

Never made any sense to me. Well, that and the registered license plate on the Batmobile, complete with current tags and of course the Batphone which had to be wired and installed by the phone company 50 feet underground.

An aside, Madge Blake who played Aunt Harriet lived in Pasadena. She died at Huntington in 1969.

So why could no one trace the Bat identity back to millionaire playboy, Bruce Wayne?

His secret was so foolproof.

I got it, maybe he had hot tags on the batmobile and the phone is illegal and Chief O’Hara is in on it.

He’s the police chief, of course he’s in on it.

That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

Since the Wayne Manor house used in the show is in Pasadena, I am calling Council during SUNDAY’S meeting and demanding they fire the fictional Chief O’Hara.

Back on point, what were we talking about?